Say What You Want To Say

... Sara Bareilles just released a new song entitled "Brave" and I just can't get enough of it. I'm not over exaggerating when I say that this song has been on repeat on my computer for the last two days. I love songs that just get you all fired up and motivated. That song is the basis for this post.

... I feel like I have been struggling these last few months to figure out what in the world i'm doing with my life. I was looking forward to graduating so badly because I thought that life would be the best it has ever been. No more homework, all I had to do was go to work, etc. Well it wasn't as exciting and life changing as I thought. It literally took me three months to finally get myself to pick up a book because I was so anxious and nervous I didn't know what to do with myself. Work has been wonderful and I love what I do everyday. Like any job there are ups and downs and some days when I feel like I don't get paid nearly enough for what I have to deal with and then there are others days where I feel guilty they are paying me so much to just be here. It has been hard not having a 9-5 job mostly because I end up working weekends and while I'm at work for 12 hours, Ian is doing something fun and i'm not there. So I have really been trying to find myself and give myself something to look forward too. Books have been my current go to and I have recently been reading some of Mitch Albom's books. I have read "The Five People You Meet in Heaven", "One More Day", and "Tuesdays with Morrie". If you haven't read any of his books I highly recommend them. He writes in such a simple and emotionally touching way that you can't help but fall in love with his characters. I have also been teaching myself to sew. As a Christmas gift last year my parents gave me a new Brother sewing machine. It has sat at my Mom's for the last year and I really was too nervous to pull it out and starting trying things. Good thing I have Pinterest. My sister Andrea was about to have a new baby boy so I found a pin for cute baby bibs and pulled out my new sewing machine. I haven't stopped sewing since. Even though I am still new at it, I love being able to create something and then sharing it with others. I feel satisfied.  

... So what does Sara Bareilles song "Brave" have to do with any of my ramblings? 

 "I wonder what would happen if you say what you want to say  and let the words fall out, honestly I want to see you be brave with what you want to say and let the words fall out......maybe they're is a way out of the cage that you live, maybe one of these days you can let the light it, show me how big your brave is". 

... I am freaked out to say what I want to say. And I am in no way brave. I have never been eloquent with words and I definitely do not have a talent when it comes to writing and speaking how I feel. I have had this want lately to start blogging and to put everything down in words so maybe it would make more sense in my mind. I look at others blogs and I wonder if I will come across the way they do to me. So here I am. Being brave with what I want to say and i'm letting the words fall out. Even if they don't make sense to anyone but me I feel like it will help me to do something productive with my life. I just want to try something and break my fear of fearing what others will think of me....I'm being brave! I think Sara Bareilles would be proud.....